Get the facts straight

Here are some more Mulla Nasruddin Stories. None of these are my original stories and I have made no such claims either. These are just collected in one place for you to enjoy and understand this great folk character…

Save the best for last

The young lady had said she would marry him, and Mulla Nasrudin was holding her tenderly. “I wonder what your folks will think,” he said. “Do they know that I write poetry?”

“Not yet, Honey,” she said. “I HAVE TOLD THEM ABOUT YOUR DRINKING AND GAMBLING, BUT I THOUGHT I’D BETTER NOT TELL THEM EVERYTHING AT ONCE.”


The Usual

Mulla Nasrudin had just asked his newest girlfriend to marry him. But she seemed undecided.
“If I should say no to you” she said, “would you commit suicide?”
“THAT,” said Nasrudin gallantly, “HAS BEEN MY USUAL PROCEDURE.”


Last Wishes

Nasrudin is with his cronies drinking coffee:

They are discussing death, “When you are in your casket and friends and

family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”

The first crony says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great

doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second says, ” I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

Nasrudin says, ” I would like to hear them say… LOOK!! HE’S MOVING!!!”


Authority

Nasrudin was explaining how he was the ‘boss’ in his household.

“I always get the last word,” said Nasrudin. “My wife tells me to do

something and I say, ‘Okay’.”


catching the train

Nasrudin and two of his cronies arrive at the train station just in time to see the train leave. “when is the next one?” they ask the station master. “in an hour” answers the man. Nasrudin and his friends decide to spend the waiting time in a rail station pub.
An hour later they leave the bar just in time to see this train, too, leave. They attempt to chase it, but without success. Upon inquiry they are told that the next train leaves in three hours. They decide to return to the bar.
This time they get to the platform as the train starts pulling out from the station. The three of them do not give up. They open a run with all their might, and indeed two of them succeed boarding; only Nasrudin trips and falls, and misses the train.
The station master helps him on his feet, and seeing Nasrudin watching the disappearing train in great distress says: “do not worry, sir. The next train is in another half an hour” “it’s not me I worry about” answers Nasrudin. “It’s my friends. You see, they were only escorting me to the train!”


Fishing

Nasrudin heard that the king sent out a committee seeking incognito suitable candidates for kadis (judges). Nasrudin took to walking around carrying an old fishing net on his shoulder. When the members of the committee reached his village, it drew their attention and they questioned him about it.

“Oh, I carry this net with me to remind me of my humble past as a poor fisherman,” explained Nasrudin. The committee was impressed, and in due time Nasrudin was nominated as a kadi.

Shortly afterwards those king’s representatives met Nasrudin again and noticed the net was gone.

“Where is the net, Nasrudin?” they asked.

“Well, you don’t need the net after the fish is caught, do you?” replied Nasrudin.


Real men

“if there is a man among you, who’s not afraid of his wife, let him stand up!” challenged a bully newcomer the patrons in nasrudin’s favorite pub. one by one all who were not sitting already settled down. only nasrudin remained standing, leaning on his stick. “well, it seems you and me are the only real men in here,” the bully said to nasrudin. “speak for yourself,” said nasrudin. “my wife warned me that if she’ll catch me again sitting with this bunch, she’ll break my other leg, too…”



The Question

One day Mulla was asked, “How is it you always answer a question with another question?”
“Do I?” he replied.


Get the facts straight

A guide was taking a party round the British Museum. ‘This sarcophagus is five thousand years old.’ A bearded figure with a turban stepped forward.

‘You are mistaken,’ said Nasrudin, ‘for it is five thousand and three years old.’

Everyone was impressed, and the guide was not pleased. They passed into another room.

‘This vase’, said the guide, ‘is two thousand five hundred years old.’

‘Two thousand five hundred and three,’ intoned Nasrudin. ‘Now look here,’ said the guide, ‘how can you date things so precisely ? I don’t care if you do come from the East, people just don’t know things like that.’

‘Simple,’ said Nasrudin. ‘I was last here three years ago. That time you said the vase was two thousand five hundred years old.’

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